Well today has been a pretty average day lol woke up hurting of course since AF is here ughhhh!!! lol anyway other then that i have been studying all day, as that is pretty much what all of my days consist of but TGIF lol. I am doing pretty good today other then a random wave of depression as i thought about this whole TTC journey it has been a long road already and very tuff at times i think the hardest time was when i lost my little angel back in January of 2011 it was one of the worst times of my life! since i am already talking about it i mise well tell the whole story of my short 4 week pregnancy with our little angel so here it goes! We had just started trying and had no idea that i was already pregnant crazy huh? Well before i starting trying to conceive i didn't track my periods at all since they never start on the same day every month lol and i wasn't trying before this so i didn't really pay any attention. I had no idea that i was totally WAY late for my period until.... I know they say that it takes longer then four weeks to have symptoms, well that was so not the case for me at all! First thing i noticed was i was constantly tired no matter how much i slept, i still felt like i had been up for days! Next came the cravings nothing to strange i had to craving that i felt i always had to have and DH was constantly running out haha anyway the first was hot wings, OMG i could not get enough, the second was orange sherbet ice-cream with chocolate syrup my hubby said that one was gross and still to this day he does and now i even think it is but at that time i could not get enough! Next came the food aversion OMG horrible spaghetti i could not stand the smell of it, i would run straight to the toilet and barf, another one was the smell of mcdonalds ughhhh!!!! And the last one was Mt. Dew i LOVE it but when i was pregnant it tasted like chalk!!! The last thing i experienced before i lost the baby was horrible nausea i was throwing up atleast 6 times a day! Then on January 21, 2011 i started to spot i thought this is normal in early pregnancy and thought nothing of it the next day was HEAVY bleeding and horrible cramps way worse then AF then i noticed i was passing everything and that is when i Realized that i was loosing my baby and i totally broke down, collapsed in the floor and just broke down! I was a wreck for months and to this day i still have times when i just break down, but i just tell myself it was gods plan and i will see my sweet angel again one day in heaven.... Well thats the story of my loss and i know it was long but hey its alot of stuff lol anyway i hope you enjoy and i think i am going to take this exam ughhh and go to bed but love you guys and lots of babydust to you all, our day is coming i promise!!!!! :)
You are a very strong woman!
ReplyDeleteThanks hun it was very hard but i know my day is coming and so is yours and all the other ladies! :)
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